Author Emily Dietle
My focus is on state-church separation & social issues. I'm an avid reader, and feel that one of our most valuable tools is the free movement of information and ideas. | @emilyhasbooks
Nearly nine years of my life disappeared into the abyss of an abusive relationship. Nine years, by average life expectancies- that’s 9% of my life spent in a situation that was stressful, disturbing, and painful. Nine percent of my life wasted in a relationship that left me in emotional and financial ruins.
I could write for hours about how it happened and why I stuck with it for so many years, the gradual decline of self-worth, but that’s not the message I have for you today. You need to know about one of the major factors that finally led me to escape that mess, so that you can help pull others out.
During those nine years, I was also on a journey of de-conversion from Christianity, which eventually led me to my position of atheism. Once I started gaining my footing in the world of reason and logic, I began evaluating the world around me- including my own happiness.
The esteem I had for myself was still pitifully low, and I knew that I was miserable, but I didn’t feel that I deserved better. With more time researching and reading about non-belief, I started making new friends online, new atheist friends. We were having many dialogues about my life and the issues that I was coping with, and one day everything clicked.
Life is far too short to be living in misery. I realized that I deserve better. No individual should waste their life living pleasing another, while they themselves are suffering. Losing my faith and the concept of an afterlife, gave me the nudge I needed to get out of a relationship that had already hit me too hard. There is no Christian hell to fear, no Christ to save your soul when you die, save yourself.
UPDATE: I’ve finally started therapy for the trauma experienced during those miserable and tormenting years. If you have been in an abusive relationship, I strongly urge you to find a qualified therapist.